


In Winter, It's A Marshmallow World

by Chikabiddy



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Season 3 AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22021237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikabiddy/pseuds/Chikabiddy
Summary: A chance encounter changes everything.
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Comments: 71
Kudos: 111





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Irma66](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irma66/gifts).



> Okay, so I want to be very very clear here at the beginning: THIS STORY IS NOT DONE. This is Part 1 of... hopefully 3 but this story already got away from me so it may end up more. 
> 
> Also, I want to apologize to Irma for the lack of updates (I could NOT figure out how to send anon messages) and getting this in pretty much under the wire. I have a lot of personal excuses, but I hope you enjoy it all the same. 
> 
> Finally, the title is based on the Christmas song A Marshmallow World by Dean Martin.

Veronica scanned the flight information board for the third time since sitting down in the gate waiting area. Rolling her neck and shoulders to ease the building tension, she relaxed into her seat and closed her eyes. There was an hour to go before her flight to Neptune. As bored as she was, she was grateful this was a connecting flight and she didn’t have to go through security again.

The security at JFK had been a nightmare. Literally, a nightmare. _Nothing like fighting through thousands of rushed, angry, screaming people to get you into the holiday spirit._ She didn’t like crowds on the best of days, but the holidays were infinitely worse.

She wouldn’t even be here if her dad hadn’t bought her tickets without actually asking her first. Her initial reaction was disappointment. The allure of an empty campus and the library to herself, so she could study without distraction, was nigh irresistible. But when she heard the excitement in her dad’s voice after he told her his plan, she changed her mind. If it made him happy… well, she was all about making him happy these days, why not add this to the list.

* * *

Logan couldn’t believe he was going back to Neptune again. Dick all but begged him. Logan had declined, initially. But he hadn’t seen Dick in almost a year and so here he was, struggling his way through the airport crowds to catch a last-minute flight back to Neptune.

He made it to his gate just before the first call to board. A personal worst. _I’m never traveling this close to a holiday again._

Scanning the crowd reflexively, his eyes caught on a shade of blond hair he’d never forget. He thought he must be seeing things, willing into reality what he’d had so many fantasies about. _It’s never been her before_.

He turned away, looking for an open seat, but his eyes kept drawing back to the blond. The curve of her neck, she shape of her shoulders - it felt so familiar and he couldn’t look away.

He stepped towards her involuntarily, desperate to know for sure, then shook his head and turned away. _Get a hold of yourself and stop acting like a hormonal teenager. Whoever that is doesn’t need you being creepy._ Then he heard her sigh and watched her stretch her arms over her head.

It wasn’t a fantasy, it wasn’t another case of mistaken identity, she was here. _Veronica_. The name alone was reserved only for his dreams. Until now.

Rubbing the back of his neck and adjusting his carry-on back to his shoulder, he debated what to do. _Should I approach her? Leave her alone?_ It had been so long. Perhaps she wouldn’t appreciate seeing him as much as he was desperate to see her.

The call for priority boarding shook him out of the anxiety-driven haze he’d been caught in, and he realized it was now or never. If he didn’t at least try, he’d regret losing this chance forever. _Five years is a long time, maybe long enough that she’ll have softened towards me._

* * *

The din of airport noise stirred Veronica from her half-slumber. Ignoring the call for priority boarding, she rubbed her eyes to dispel the last of her sleepiness.

“Veronica?”

She froze and didn’t dare look up. She had to be imagining it, that voice. She’d heard he joined the Navy, surely he couldn’t really be here. But the light hand on her shoulder, followed by another-

“Veronica?”

-told her she hadn’t imagined anything. Now if only she could get herself to look him in the eye. _Cowboy up, Mars. It’s not like you haven’t been dreaming about this exact moment for years._ She didn’t realize how long she’d been silently still until the hand left her shoulder and that voice, soft as a whisper, said:

“Sorry, I thought you might not want to see me. I’ll leave you alone.”

“No!” She found the strength to move, flipping around and reaching for his retreating hand. The tightness in her chest and throat released only when he stopped and looked back, hand clasped in hers.

“Logan,” she managed to breathe out.

His trademark smirk flashed across his face before settling into the most beautiful, genuine smile she’d ever seen. _God, I thought I imagined how good he looks and here he is, aged like a fine wine._

They stared at each other far too long, hands still linked until the next boarding call broke them both from the trance they were under. Their hands fell, Veronica’s to her lap and Logan’s to his side.

Veronica managed words first. “What are you doing here? Are you on this flight?”

“Yeah,” Logan affirmed. “It’s my first holiday not stuck in a tin can, and Dick practically promised me his firstborn if I spend it with him.”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good deal for you.”

“Well… you take what you can get.”

“So.” She hated the stilted awkwardness overshadowing their conversation and tried to break the ice, so to speak. “You were coerced into holiday celebrations too, huh?”

“I take it returning to Neptune wasn’t your idea?”

Veronica returned his knowing smile. “All my dad. He booked the flight without even asking. So I really couldn’t say no.”

“You’ll have to thank him for me.”

The conversation stalled. Veronica was a little unsure of what to say, or where she stood with Logan. _Just say something. Ask him about the Navy!_

“So, the Navy...”

It was still hard to wrap her mind around Navy Logan. She’d heard, of course, but she’d always struggled to envision it.

Logan hesitated a moment, eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her want to avert her eyes. _Don’t you dare look away, Mars._

“Yeah, it’s been a lifesaver. Gives me a direction when I was pretty adrift before.”

Veronica swallowed the guilt, responding with all the enthusiasm she could muster, “That’s great!”

He probably saw right through her. He always had before. But she kept the facade up, willing him not to look too close and realize how responsible she felt for his feeling lost. For feeling like he needed something to save him.

He broke her out of her guilt-spiral.

“So, where are you sitting?”

Veronica realized how empty the gate seating had become. _Shit. How did I not notice that?_ Luckily, there was still a bit of a line waiting to board so their chance meeting wasn’t holding up the flight.

“Uhm, C34.”

“Window seat, huh?”

“My dad knows me well.”

“Well, hey… what if…” he trailed off a moment, scrunching up his face. “I could upgrade you.”

He spoke so fast he nearly stumbled over the words and it took a couple seconds for Veronica to register what he said.

“Upgrade my seat?”

“Yeah. I could get you in first class. We can keep catching up.”

Veronica wanted to say yes. She wanted so badly to say yes and spend the next hour and a half getting to know Logan as he was now. _God, do I want to say yes._ But, though she’d done a lot of work on herself and truly tried to be more open and willing to ask for help, she still couldn’t handle feeling like a charity case.

“I can’t let you do that.”

“Is it really you letting me when I offered? I’m glad to do it.”

“Thank you, Logan, really.” She shook her head. _Why am I saying no, again?_ _Oh, yeah. Pride._ As mad at herself as she was for passing up a first-class upgrade with Logan as her companion, she couldn’t accept the offer. “But I can’t.”

Rather than getting upset, which was what she was expecting, Logan smiled slightly. “I thought you might say that. Well, another time then?”

“Final boarding, flight D224 non-stop to Neptune.”

“I think that means us.” Veronica stood as she spoke, draping her bag over her shoulder. “But yes, definitely. Another time.”

Logan followed her to the gate and down into the plane. As they stepped up into the narrow hall, Veronica realized it might be years before she saw him again. She stopped just before showing her boarding pass to the flight attendant and made an awkward turn in the cramped passage.

“It was great to see you again, Logan.” She stood on her tiptoes and threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him like she wanted to cling to this moment. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered. Dropping her arms, she gave a mock salute. “Catch you later, sailor.”

* * *

Logan hadn’t felt this unsteady in years. The therapy and coping techniques he learned were supposed to keep him from feeling like this again. But he wasn’t too surprised. Veronica always had a way of destabilizing him.

“Boarding pass?”

The flight attendant’s clipped tone told Logan he’d missed the first, and probably the second, time she asked. He moved to hand it over when he had an idea.

“I’m in first class,” he told the attendant. “But that woman I walked on with? She’s an old friend. I’d like to see if the person sitting next to her wants to take my first class seat so I can sit with her.”

The raised eyebrow of the attendant betrayed her suspicion. “You want to downgrade to economy? Why don’t you just upgrade her?”

“I already offered,” Logan sighed. “But she declined.”

“She declined?” Her piercing stare made him feel he was being judged. “Well, maybe that means she doesn’t want to sit with you.”

Logan sighed out his frustration. “Did the hug she gave me look like she was dying to get away from me?” He took another anger-expelling breath. “Can you just go ask the person sitting next to her if he or she would like to upgrade?”

“I guess.” The attendant didn’t manage to hide her skepticism.

“She’s in seat C34,” he called to her retreating form.

Logan tapped his feet, leaning against the flight attendant seat while he waited. He’d run through five relaxation techniques before the flight attendant returned, a greasy old man following close behind.

“This is the gentlemen,” the inflection on the word said she thought Logan was anything but, “who would like to trade seats with you.”

“Trade to first class?” The man looked to Logan, a hint of understanding in his eyes. “I never could resist a blond, either.”

“She’s an old friend,” he said back, voice stoney. All the therapy tools in the world would never get him to feel less protective of Veronica. “So, you’re willing to trade?”

“Gladly.” He rubbed his hands together and turned to the flight attendant. “Lead the way.”

The attendant rolled her eyes but turned towards first-class. “I’m assuming you know where to go?” she shot back over her shoulder to Logan.

“Yeah, I’ve got it.”

But they had already disappeared through the dividing curtain. Logan made his way to row 34, near the back of the plane. He spotted Veronica staring out her window and smiled at the sight. Five years. It changed nothing and everything.

“Excuse me.” He slipped past a girl, who looked barely old enough to fly on her own, sitting on the aisle seat.

He’d settled in his seat before he felt Veronica’s eyes on him. He waited for the confrontation he knew was coming.

“What are you doing back here?”

His eyes widened then he frowned slightly. “What, you disappointed? That guy I traded seats with did look like excellent company.” He broke into a grin, unable to hold the ruse any longer. “Though I’m not sure I could pull him away from the luxury of first-class to get him back for you.”

“Aww,” Veronica replied in her trademark Amber voice. “You remembered how much I love sleazy old guys!”

He chuckled, taking satisfaction as she played along with him.

“For real, though. You traded seats? Did you at least get a refund?”

Logan scoffed. “Of course not. Do you think Mr. Grease was going to fork over the seven hundred dollar difference between his seat and mine?”

“Losing seven hundred dollars just to sit by me? If I didn’t know better I’d think you have a crush on me.”

Her fluttering lashes, her lightly flushed cheeks, her teasing smile. It was all he could do to not kiss her right there. He shook his head slightly at the ridiculousness of that thought.

“So you’re not denying it?”

Veronica snapped him back to the present. He couldn’t remember the last time he was so scattered. He’d need a double session with his therapist to help him unravel his jumble of emotions.

“Sorry,” he quipped. “That’s classified information. Top secret. You have to have special clearance to access it.”

“And how does one get this special clearance?”

_Is she flirting? This feels like flirting._ But he had a tendency to see what he wanted to see when it came to Veronica; he’d have to wait for something more concrete before making any assumptions.

“That is also classified.”

“Then how does anyone get clearance?”

“You don’t get clearance, clearance gets you.”

Veronica laughed and his whole body felt light and warm. He missed this so much, having someone to banter with, someone to understand him in a way no one else could.

He and Veronica continued chatting about everything small and unimportant. Though the conversation paused as Veronica prepared for take-off. She clutched the armrests tightly until the plane leveled out.

After a few minutes of neither of them knowing what to say, Veronica broke the silence.

“So,” the trepidation in her voice was overt. “Direction from the Navy? How’d that come about.”

Chuckling at her not-so-subtle dig for information, Logan took a moment to consider what she was really asking him: _What changed you so much that you joined the military?_ The answer was too heavy for a first reunion plane ride. _The diluted version will have to do_.

He pulled his hand from the armrest and rubbed the back of his neck. Three years in the Navy wasn’t enough to purge him of this particular nervous habit.

“You remember what I was like our first year of college?” He started off simple, trying to ease into what would be a difficult conversation, watered-down or not.

“Brooding? Tortured? Drifting?” Her soft shoulder bump, and all the time he put into building his confidence in himself, took the sting from her assessment.

“Basically. All of the above.”

“Yeah.”

Her eyes glistened ever so slightly and he had to look away. _I don’t want her reading me like I am her. Not yet_.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “You can only drift for so long before you get lost. The Navy was like a life raft for me. It came unexpectedly, but when I needed it most. And it’s no exaggeration to say the Navy literally saved me, mostly from myself.”

Veronica’s reassuring grip on his arm helped him lift his gaze back to hers. The space between them crackled with an energy that was so familiar, almost like no time had passed at all.

* * *

Veronica felt the familiar spark of energy and excitement that always seemed to permeate the air whenever she was within fifty feet of Logan. She realized, much to her delight, in five years nothing had changed. Logan’s ever-pulsing magnetism had only strengthened in their time apart. The difference now? The current warmth cast in stark relief the devoid meaningless of life without him.

And she never wanted to feel that emptiness again.

The realization hit her like a freight train.

_You don’t want to live without him… so what are you going to do about it, Veronica?_

She knew how she felt, knew what she wanted, but would Logan want the same? Was their turbulent history too much to overcome? _Have I pushed him so far I can’t ever get him back?_

There were only so many things she could control and guaranteeing Logan would feel the same as her wasn’t one of them. But she could control herself and make sure she did everything possible to try.

Her mind went into overdrive, thinking of how she could make up for the past, how she could convince him she was a safe bet to place. _I have to show him how much I’ve grown._

Veronica hoped Logan would see and appreciate her resolve and progress. She had a feeling this would be their last chance to make it work.

Logan was still staring, and she was still clutching his arm. He seemed open and vulnerable in a way she’d rarely ever seen. Her heart swelled at the man Logan made of himself.

When Logan offered no further commentary on his life change, Veronica decided it was time to start talking herself up. _Nothing like presenting yourself interview-style to show your progress._

“Well.” She pulled her hand back to her lap, giving him her most mischievous smile. “You’ll never guess what I started doing three years ago.”

Her inability to trust had always been a sticking point for Logan. She hoped voluntarily going to therapy would show him she was actively working on it.

Logan rubbed his chin, eyes lifted in mock contemplation. “Mmm, pole dancing? No. Drug smuggling. Or, maybe working as a hitman?”

Veronica laughed as she shook her head. _Same old Logan._ “Don’t I wish. I could have paid off my bachelor’s degree, my law school debt, and probably had money to spare!”

He leaned closer, one elbow now propped on their shared armrest supporting his head in the classic Toddlers in Tiaras pose. “Well, if it isn’t about money I have to know.”

“Not all of us have had a trust fund from birth,” she scoffed, waving his words away like nagging flies. “Though I’m assuming most of that sits in an investment account while you live off your salary.”

“Right on both counts. But we were talking about you.”

“Were we? I can’t seem to remember now.”

“Oh, I’ll get it out of you, one way or another.”

“Logan,” she mock-scolded in a growling whisper. “We are in a very public setting right now.”

He crinkled his eyes, adopting his brooding look. “Sorry, Bobcat, you make it impossible to resist.”

Veronica’s heart fluttered with excitement. _He called me Bobcat. That has to be a good sign, right?_

“Okay, okay. If you stop looking at me like a kicked puppy I’ll tell you.” She steadied herself with a deep breath, then blurted out before she could reconsider: “I’ve been going to therapy.”

Logan’s mouth popped open and his eyes went wide. His chin almost slipped from its perch on his hand. _Does he believe me?_ “So… yup. That’s what I’ve been doing.”

“Veronica.” His voice choked with emotion. “That’s really amazing.”

She let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding, unclenching her hands from their death grip.

“I’m really proud of you.”

Her cheeks flushed. _He’s proud of me_. She didn’t predict how much she longed for his perspective, his approval.

She grinned, hope blossoming. “Thanks.”

“I actually started therapy a few years ago as well.”

She hadn’t been expecting that. _Though, it’s not surprising given his history. It might have even been mandated._

“That’s great!” she managed through her shock. “That’s really great. I mean, if therapy was made for anyone, it was probably us.”

He chuckled at her quip, understanding the truth of the words and the need to make it a joke.

“It’s really helped me, anyway.” She settled herself back, half leaning against the side of the plane and halfway still in her seat. “After a year I was able to date without resorting to planting trackers or phone stalking.”

_Please understand me. Please realize I’m trying so hard to be open with you. Please understand how much I’ve worked on trust._

Logan lifted one side of his mouth, giving her his classic half-smile and nodded. “It’s been years since I last broke someone’s nose. I’d say we’re both doing pretty good.”

She noticed how he kept himself laid bare, never moving to cross his arms or shy away. _Of course, he always wore his emotions on his sleeve_.

“We sure are!” She lifted her hand and he chuckled as he reciprocated her high five. “I even went out all on my own and made friends. As in, _multiple_ friends.”

_See? I’m not shutting everyone out_.

“I’m impressed. Bobcat of old was always more of an ice queen.”

“I guess I’ve thawed out a little. I even told my dad _and_ Wallace all about therapy, and making friends, and what I’m hoping for the future.”

_I can’t be blamed if my future plans have changed a little since we last talked. The universe obviously wants us together. There is no other explanation_.

“That’s really great, Veronica. I’m really happy for you.”

She reached towards him, ready to share the sentiment, when one of the flight attendants announced their impending landing and the need to, “Make sure your tray tables and electronics are stowed away and fasten your seatbelts.”

_Perfect timing, as always._ She huffed and rolled her eyes, even though she knew it wouldn’t matter. Not to the pilots and definitely not to the universe. _I just hope I told him enough._

She positioned herself back into the proper seating position and snapped on her buckle. Logan followed suit, casting glances at her every few seconds.

“The plane hasn’t landed yet, Logan. I’m not going to evaporate.”

She offered a knowing smile and fidgeted to get more comfortable in the seat. Twenty minutes to prepare for landing and then it would be over in a second.

This time, as they went in for landing, Logan reached over and squeezed her hand. _Thank you, Logan. You always know exactly what I need_. She gripped his fingers tightly.

Deboarding and luggage collecting passed in a haze of “I’m so glad to see you again” and “we have to meet up while we’re both in town” and crowded hallways and the ever-present airport noise.

They were past the gate, moving towards the arrivals before she thought to ask how long he would be around. He was due to fly back in a week, just before New Year’s. She wouldn’t be leaving until closer to the start of her next semester, mid-January.

Spotting her dad in the crowd, and unfortunately, Dick who stuck out like a sore thumb, Veronica turned back to Logan. _If ever there was a time for you to read my mind, it would be now._ She repeated her quick hug from earlier but caught and held his gaze as she pulled away.

“It was really good to see you, Logan.”

* * *

Logan stared after Veronica, watching as she greeted her dad and then she was gone.

Pinpointing how he was feeling wasn’t possible. The short two hours since he’d reconnected with Veronica were more emotional than he’d experienced in years. But he did have one prominent, crushing thought: _She’s doing good, really really good. Without me._

He never imagined Veronica would voluntarily go to therapy. Of anyone he knew, she was one of the last he would have pegged to go. Though he supposed the same could be said for him. She seemed to be flourishing away from Neptune. Away from him.

Logan was pulled from his ruminations by a shake to the shoulder.

“Dude, was that Ronnie?” Sarcasm and surprise warred in Dick’s voice.

Still recovering from the whirlwind that was Veronica Mars, Logan barely managed a “yeah” in reply.

Dick was more astute than most gave him credit for and let the subject go while they made their way to his beachfront bungalow. Though he couldn’t help but mention the multiple parties with very available women that he planned for them to attend during Logan’s visit.

Logan gave noncommittal responses; not saying no, but also showing no enthusiasm. And Dick kept up his pestering until, settled in his room, Logan had enough.

“Hey man, thanks for the ride and the invite. I’m exhausted from traveling, so we can talk more tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, dude. Sleep, so we can party hardy tomorrow.” He exited the room with a hip thrust.

Sighing at the conversation he knew was going to have to happen in the morning, Logan readied himself for bed and settled himself on the soft, silky sheets.

_Veronica is doing great. She got away from Neptune… and me… and now she’s doing better than ever._

He rubbed his palms into his eyes, dispelling the dew gathering there. If Veronica was better off without him, he would let her go. He had hoped… but it didn’t matter. What was best for her, that’s what mattered. _And maybe we can still be friends. I can keep her in my life, even if it isn’t the way I want_.

He drifted into a fitful sleep, thoughts of Veronica and what was and what might have been plaguing his dreams.


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting on this chapter long enough, I think. And there's a certain someone who could really use a pick-me-up, so here's the first of two or three chapters I'll be posting to hopefully lift some spirits.

Veronica

Three days and still no response from Logan. She’d sent him a text the day after they flew in. _Maybe he changed his number_. It was Christmas Eve and she wanted to see if he had plans for Christmas day. If not… _Maybe he’ll join us._

Still, she had no idea where she stood with him. Whether what she told him on the plane made any difference, or if she burned that bridge years ago. _I wish he would just text me. Or call. Anything but silence._

Veronica flopped back onto her bed with a groan. _This isn’t high school. Why does it feel so much like high school? What would an adult do in this situation? I mean, more of an adult than me…_

She mulled over her options: she could try calling, or texting again. She could wait it out. _But what if he doesn’t ever get back to me?_ The possibility was unacceptable. Without seeing him again, how would she know what steps to take next? She needed a sure-fire way to talk to him and maybe find out why he never got back to her.

Dick convinced Logan to return for the holidays, _and we all know Dick’s version of the holidays_ , so if she could find Dick, she would likely find Logan. Which meant she was going to have to delve into the sordid depths of the high life once again.

_I haven’t crashed an 09er party in a while. Wonder if I’m still persona non grata?_ Unfortunately, her 09er resources were slim. _Let’s be honest, slim is generous_. The one contact she had was the person currently ignoring her. Taking a mental tally of all her Neptune friends, a quick affair, she realized her only hope was Wallace or Mac. Neither ran with that crowd, but one of them might know about a party or two.

Veronica had yet to confide in anyone regarding her plan to get Logan back. It was a conversation she heard a million times her freshman year of college: _‘Your relationship always goes about as well as throwing gasoline on a roaring fire’, ‘Haven’t you hurt each other enough’, ‘What makes this time any different’._ She’d long since given up trying to discuss or explain her relationship with Logan.

By now, the arguments were familiar enough she could play both sides on her own, no judging opinions required. However, Logan ghosting her meant she would have to talk to somebody sooner rather than later. _Probably two somebodies_.

Shooting off a quick text to Wallace and Mac inviting them to a late lunch, she mentally prepared for the upcoming conversation. Therapy had helped her open up but something about her and Logan, and especially their relationship, still felt off limits. _That was one of my problems, though, wasn’t it? Trying to keep Logan separate from the rest of my life_. He never fit easily into the space she allotted for him and it had scared her before.

In her work with her therapist, she realized she put the people in her life in little boxes and didn’t let them out to mingle. She kept her love life separate from her family or friends, her family and friends and love life separate from her personal struggles, and everyone else she met firmly in the “never trust” box. Her therapist helped her see that never giving the people in her life a chance to be more than the role she’d assigned them was unfair, both to those people and to herself.

That had sparked talking more about her personal life with Wallace, Mac and her dad. The first step had been admitting therapy, despite her intrinsic belief that needing therapy means I’m weak. To her surprise, relief, and if she was honest, a little bit of shame mixed in there, they all responded with love and support, just as her therapist had expected.

And little by little, she worked at dismantling her box system, though she never could bring herself to talk about everything that happened with Logan. But things were different now. She didn’t want him parcelled off in the section she set for him, never mingling or moving. Now, she wanted him as enmeshed with her life as possible. Which meant being honest with Wallace and Mac. For starters.

Lucky for her, Wallace and Mac were both free and all too happy to meet up. Her time was short and, though their curiosity was evident, they met her a mear half an hour after she reached out. She hoped their questions would help her be more honest about the one topic she’d never been honest about before.

They settled in their usual holiday spots on the couch in her living room and began with the customary pleasantries. Wallace told them both about a Master’s program he wanted to apply for, an aerospace engineering program out of CalTech. He’d taken a year off after graduating to figure out what he really wanted to do professionally and his love of airplanes and engineering won out. The application was due in February and he was excited and stressed about whether or not he would make the cut.

Mac was a year into her Master’s of Computer Science. Most of her time was dedicated to assignments, projects, and independent study. After some coaxing and pestering, she bashfully admitted to having received multiple employment offers upon completion of her degree.

“Okay, Supafly.” Wallace and Mac turned their full attention to Veronica, whose one beer ( _it was five o’clock somewhere, right?_ ) was not nearly enough to take the edge off the admission to come. “As much as Mac and I would love to believe this was a spur of the moment friend thing, we both know you too well for that. So, you ready to tell us what’s going on with you?”

She wanted to tell them, needed to tell them, but the way she crumpled and tore at the paper wrapping around the bottle she clutched betrayed her turmoil.

“Astute as ever,” Veronica sidetracked.

“Astute enough to know a stall tactic when I see one,” Wallace waved away her attempt to delay. “Take your time, V. But we’re here until you’re ready.”

Mac reached across the table and squeezed Veronica’s hand. “You coaxed my job offers out of me. Fair’s fair, right?"

The teasing tone she took was softened by her gentle contact. Veronica scrunched her face, taking one breath… two… and let it all tumble out.

“I saw Logan.” The responding groans weren’t a surprise, but stung none the less. She pressed on, fearing if she stopped she’d never start again. “We ended up on the same flight, did some catching up… it was… nice.” She was still stalling, still not getting to the point, and she knew it. “Anyway. I realized that, uhm, well. I realized I want him back.”

Wallace responded first, with a half sarcastic, half playful: “And literally no one was surprised.”

She rolled her eyes as Mac added, “I know you really loved him, Veronica but, well, you guys were… I don’t want to say unstable, but-”

“Unstable,” Wallace finished for her. “You were unstable and a trainwreck.”

“I know,” Veronica muttered. She predicted this, knew what was coming, but no amount of preparation could dull the disappointment entirely.

“I know,” she said more firmly. “But that was a long time ago.”

“Ehhh,” Wallace protested. “Three years isn’t really that long, is it?”

Mac pulled her hand closer, pulling Veronica’s focus. “Just tell me this, Bond: why will this time be any different?”

It was a question she knew was coming, a question she asked herself every time she and Logan tried again. And every time she had believed it would be different, though it never was. But this time, _well, there’s a lot different this time_.

“Me,” she stated simply. “I’m different. You both know what I’ve worked on, how far I’ve come. And he’s different, too.”

“But-” Wallace tried to rebut, but she put up a hand, holding him off.

“And most importantly, I know what it’s like to live without him now. Truly without him. No contact, not even a letter.” She stuffed a stray hand of hair back behind her ear and continued. “I didn’t see it before, but as soon as I saw Logan again in that airport, I knew. It was like a light went on, a light that was dark for years and I didn’t even notice.”

Mac removed her hand and Wallace looked lost for words. Veronica continued: “So now I know that I will never be as happy or whole without him. And I think the changes we’ve both made will help us work this time.”

A moment of silence, then Mac asked: “So what do you need us to do?”

Relief flooded her and Veronica broke into a grin. _This might just work after all_.

Logan

Logan was terrible company and he knew it. Try though he might, his thoughts never strayed far from the two texts he got from Veronica:

_Howdy, Sailor_.

Followed three hours later by:

_Let me know when you’re free to meet up again. It was great to see you!_

He’d opted not to respond, desperately needing more time to prepare himself for the role of a friend. If he saw her again so soon after the flight, he was sure to make a fool of himself.

He’d gone for brooding instead and Dick was getting tired of it. Three days of bullying and cajoling to no effect left Dick frustrated and bitchy. Barging into the loaned room, he gave a resting Logan his most convincing “time to get the fuck up” face. Logan hid his eye roll by closing his eyes and leaning back so his head rested in his linked fingers.

“Dude, come on,” Dick’s high pitched whine would’ve been perfectly accompanied by a stomping foot. Logan ignored him. “It’s Christmas Eve. Like, the best night to party. Other than New Year’s. And Saint Patty’s day. Love that one.”

When Logan still didn’t respond, he walked over to the edge of the bed and kicked the frame.

“It’s fucking Ronnie, isn’t it. It’s always Ronnie. What’d she do this time? Doesn’t she already have your balls in her purse? What more does she want from you?”

With a sigh, Logan opened his eyes to address his long-suffering friend. “She didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, right,” Dick bit out with a fold of his arms.

“Seriously, just drop it. Leave Veronica out of it.”

“Fine.” His tone told Logan he would not be happy with whatever Dick said next. “I’ll leave Ronnie out of it, even though I know it’s totally her fault,” he muttered the final shot at Veronica. “But you have to come out tonight. Have to. It’s the party of the year, bro!”

“Dick,” Logan prepared to decline. _The last thing I need is to test three years of sobriety at his most recent excuse to get wasted_. “You know-”

“Blah, blah, blah,” Dick cut him off. “Dude. I know you’re sober. I know you don’t drink or anything anymore. Which is awesome because it means you’re the designated driver!”

He sounded so proud of himself, like he’d come up with the perfect solution. Logan wasn’t sure he could disappoint his friend further, or ruin what Dick obviously saw as a stroke of genius.

_And that’s how the world’s biggest schmuck ended up as the designated driver to a party he doesn’t even want to attend._

With a sigh, Logan rolled out of bed.

“Fine,” he acquiesced and Dick’s responding grin eased a little of his annoyance at being cajoled into going.

At his capitulation, he was mercifully left alone to get ready for the party. He appreciated the time to mentally prepare.

\---

True to 09er tradition, the club was extravagantly decorated. Logan was sure the host of this soiree bought out the entire space for the night. And the numerous security, both overt and more subtle, signaled the exclusivity of the event. It wouldn’t do to let any undesirables have access to their celebrations.

The decorations must have taken days, the theme being Merry Fairy Christmas, of course. _It’s not a true party until there’s a theme_. Logan, who had adamantly refused any costuming, did his best to contain his disdain for the affair and tried to enjoy being among his peers for a change.

Unfortunately, the longer he stayed the more apparent it became the 09er crowd no longer constituted his peers. They really never had, if he was honest, but now he had a comparison point of his military family to put them in stark contrast.

Logan wandered the overly decorated space, scanning the crowd. The edges of the club were crowded with fake twinkling trees and he skirted around them while mentally tabulating how long it would take him to get out of the building should the need arise.

The last three years forced him to develop a certain level of situational awareness, regardless of the environment. Sipping his club soda, he circled back to the bar for a refill.

On his way, a shimmer caught his eyes. He looked towards the entrance and saw a familiar form entering the club. There was a soft glow emanating from her, whether it came from the sparkling pins holding up her hair or the peek of silver glinting from her feet, he couldn’t tell.

He squinted, trying to put a name to the face but her features looked like they were shifting in the light. The longer he looked at her, the more transfixed he became.

His soda forgotten, he watched, as she flit and twirled around the room, steps scarcely skimming the floor. The prismatic lights of the club danced across the translucent red and white tulle, which draped around her offering tantalizing glimpses of ivory skin beneath. It took him approximately 73 seconds to recognize her.

He realized she must be wearing heels and some new kind of make-up for it to have taken him so long to recognize her, but he would know those movements, that gait, that ever-present pull anywhere. He was building up the courage to go talk to her when he felt a punch to the shoulder. Dick had found him and even in his inebriated state, he didn’t miss his friend’s fixation.

“Woop, woop, woop! Babe alert!”

Logan rolled his eyes but ignored his friend’s reaction. If he didn’t recognize Veronica, Logan wasn’t going to be the one to tell him. He decided on a different approach.

“I was thinking about asking her to dance.”

“Wooooo. Get it!” Dick punctuated his sentence with a burp. Logan wasn’t sure how far gone he was already. “Better you than them.”

He gestured to the many others tracking Veronica with their eyes. Logan tensed, not realizing how many others had their sights on Veronica already. Though he shouldn’t be surprised. She was dressed to grab attention.

Veronica

The _thump thump thump_ of her heart got louder and louder as she wove through the crowd. She’d been here less than 10 minutes but her anxiety was growing by the second. There was still no sign of him and she worried he hadn’t actually come. Maybe she wasted her entire evening and he wouldn’t even be here.

She pushed gruffly through a particularly dense pod of people, scanning the crowd, when a vapid and much too high pitched giggle caught her ear. She tried to resist the urge to turn towards the sound, not wanting to see the face on the other side of that sound but couldn’t stop herself.

Madison Sinclar, in all her glory, hanging off the arm of Logan Echolls. For a moment her blood ran cold and she couldn’t decide whether she’d rather run home or throw up. _Maybe throw up and then run home. Or vice versa, I’m not picky_.

Turning to leave, she swallowed down the rising bile. But as she turned she caught the tenseness in Logan’s jaw, the rigidity of his shoulders, and she stopped. _Madison Sinclar isn’t going to take any more time from me_.

She stiffened her spine and marched towards Logan and Madison, heels keeping her from adopting her usual determined fierceness. Her hips swayed more than she’d like but there was no turning back now.

As she approached, Logan’s eyes flashed up to meet hers and she saw relief flood his face. The ice in her belly melted.

Ignoring Madison completely, she leaned the couple inches she had left to reach Logan’s ear and whispered: “I’m here to rescue you.”

She could feel him trying to contain his laughter as he pulled back to look at her. Madison attempted to cut back in, still clutching to Logan’s arm like a harpy. Giving Logan what she hoped was a very clear _follow me_ look, she turned and started back through the crowd.

At Logan’s “Sorry, looks like I’m needed elsewhere,” she smiled.

\---

She wasn’t sure exactly where she was leading them, having never been in this club before, but eventually she spotted what looked to be a semi-private bench. As soon as she stopped, Logan wrapped her in a hug.

“What was that for?” she asked after they pulled apart.

“For the rescue back there.” The smile he offered was genuine, but she couldn’t help but feel he was holding something back. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

She crossed her arms and gave him a pointed look. “Some asshole wasn’t answering my texts.”

“Ah.” His eyes dropped and his hand flit to the back of his neck. A sure sign he was nervous. “Sorry. Things have been-”

“Busy? Stressful? Overwhelming? You don’t need an excuse, Logan, it’s okay.”

His half-smile in response betrayed his relief that she wasn't angry with him. She decided to try being direct this time since all the hinting she did on the plane hadn’t produced the desired result.

“I just wanted to see if you had plans tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Yeah, you know, Christmas? Happens once a year, everybody sings about it. Christmas?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Did you forget tomorrow is Christmas?”

“Eh, holidays don’t mean much when you can’t celebrate them with people you love.”

“Well, that’s why I wanted to see if you have plans. Because, if not… well, I was thinking you could spend it with me?” He didn’t respond. “Well, me and my dad. You know how he is about Christmas. I just… well, we usually do this whole thing with Wallace and his family and Mac when she can make it. You can even invite Dick if he wants to come.”

“Oh. Like for a party?”

“Yeah, I guess. Won’t be as grand as this one, though.” She gestured to the twinkling scene around them.

“Hm,” Logan feigned consideration, glancing where she indicated. “I’m not sure anything less will tempt Dick away from his four-poster.”

“Well…” she didn’t know what else to say, how else to get him to spend more time with her. “Just let me know? Yeah? My number is the same so you can call me, or text. Or whatever.”

Without a definitive answer from Logan, there really wasn’t a reason for her to stay at the party. She gave his arm a squeeze, _just ask me to stay_ , and turned to leave.

“Wait!” He caught her hand, much like she caught his days before at the airport.

She stopped and looked back. He just stared at her. The silence hammered in time to the loud beat of the party music.

“Yeah?” she prompted when her patience and anxiety won out.

Still, he hesitated. Then, finally: “Why’d you come?”

“Here?” He nodded. “I told you, you wouldn’t answer my texts. I wanted to invite you to Christmas.”

He studied her for a moment. “You got dressed up. Like, really dressed up. Came to an 09er party… just to invite me to Christmas?”

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

Blood rushed to her ears as her heart beat out double time. _Why indeed?_ Would this be the truth time her therapist kept talking about? Should she just blurt it all out here in the middle of a party she shouldn't even be attending? _What’s the saying? It’s now or never?_

“Because.” Her voice came out as a high pitched squeal and she took a breath to try again. “Because. I still want you in my life.”

“You still want me in your life?”

_Not good enough, Veronica._

“Like, in a romantic way.”

“In a romantic way?”

_Did I break him?_

She decided to go for direct. “I love you, Logan. Still do. Never stopped, probably always have. All that stuff.” Direct and rambly, _apparently._ “And anyway, I just. I wanted to know if maybe… you still feel that way about me. Or at least… you know, you should know. I guess.”

One heartbeat, two, three. Veronica was sure the answer would be no. _At least I got a killer dress out of it?_ Acid churned in her stomach. _What was I thinking?_ She dropped her eyes to her hand still clutched awkwardly in Logan’s, fighting her longing to stay close to him and steadied herself to pull away.

“You love me?”

She couldn’t trust her voice anymore so she just nodded, still staring at their hands. Then Logan moved to stand in front of her. Now she was staring at his neck because six inch heels made her weirdly tall but where else was she going to look when she couldn’t move. Or breathe. She really should try to remember how to breathe.

A gentle hand, not the one already clasped in hers, stroked her chin and guided her eyes back up to his.

“You love me?”

She nodded again. And then he was kissing her and the world went white and _really someone remind me how to breathe_. They were hot and desperate and probably getting indecent and Veronica missed this more than she could put in words.

Veronica leaned into him when they finally pulled apart, using his support to catch her breath and recenter on their surroundings. Logan wrapped both arms around her, pulling her tight.

“Say it again,” he whispered into her hair.

Flushing, she buried her face in his neck. Saying it just the once had been difficult but she would make herself say it as many times as he needed to hear it.

“I love you.”

He used the position of his arms to leverage her up and spun her around, giggling like a schoolboy.

“Gah! Logan!” Capturing her lips again, he put her back on the floor and she had to lean into him more to steady herself on the ridiculous stiletto heels.

“Does this mean you’ll come for Christmas?” she asked when they broke apart again.

Booping her nose softly, he replied, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to MB, CB and Casket for holding my hand and doing beta work for me!! This story would've been scrapped weeks ago without them! 
> 
> And, as I said, this is just the beginning. Buckle up and enjoy the Christmas LoVe reunion!


End file.
